I stepped out my back door a little while ago to admire the perfectly blue sky, listen to the birds chirping as they celebrate the chilly day, and see if my vulture friends might be around.  I stood on my back porch and looked up through the bare branches, but no vultures were in sight so I just listened to the birds and thought about how soon the trees will bud out and the birds will be nesting.

I pulled the hair from our brushes and collected some yarn for the birds, set it near our carport where they like to nest each year, fed my cat and came back to stand near my back door.  I stood for awhile enjoying the birds at the feeders a few yards away and contemplated how different my mornings are when I leave the tv off and step outside to enjoy nature instead of listening to news first thing in the morning, and then I felt someone near me to my left and behind me a bit.

I turned to look but didn’t see anyone at first and went back to watching the birds, but then I felt a touch on my hand that was resting at my side.  I looked down and saw the white shimmery form of a child, and as a little hand fit itself into mine I could see through the white wispy aura that my visitor was a little girl.  I didn’t move, but instead stood holding her hand for a moment and noticed that my hand wasn’t chilled as I usually am when I have a visitor who has passed.  I felt warm and relaxed, and the little hand folded  itself inside my palm so I was covering it with my own hand.

I asked her softly if she came to listen to the birds, and although I was afraid to frighten her I felt something was different this time and that she wouldn’t be frightened if I spoke to her.  It seemed she came for companionship, and she felt familiar to me.  I asked again if she came to hear the birds, but when I turned to see her response the wisp around her seemed to disperse and I could see her more clearly.  I had seen this little girl in pictures and many times in therapy sessions, and I was thrilled to see she looked completely different now standing next to me on my porch.

I had seen her most often in  pictures with a sad and angry look on her face or in therapy when I was called upon to work with her, but this time she stood looking up at me with a sweet smile on her face.  Her frizzy thick hair floated  around her face and shoulders like a reddish sunlight cloud, and she had an impish grin on her face that made me giggle with delight as I remembered the things she got into when I knew her much better than I did as an adult.  I gave her hand a squeeze to let her know I was happy to see her here with me, and she answered by releasing my hand and reaching her arms up to me as if to be picked up.

I was thrilled that she trusted me enough to look up at me with that open smile and clear eyes and ask for me to hold her, and I reached for her with no hesitation at all.  I felt her warmth against me as she wrapped her little arms around my neck, and when she fastened her feet around my back and was totally connected to me I felt a sigh of contentment slip from us both in unison.

I chuckled and lifted my gaze to hers as she lifted her head to look directly into my eyes, and as my eyes met hers I felt the sensation of all the years of therapy slide into place as if a final puzzle piece had finally been laid to rest.  An incredible sense of peace and completion came over me as we passed between us a brief silent conversation about our past and all that had happened to us, and we reached to touch foreheads and squish noses together.  As I pulled her closer to me I felt her melt into me where she has always been whether I knew it or not, and I welcomed my little self home for good.

When I could breathe again I found myself standing with a silly smile on my face, and when I recovered enough to notice my surroundings I raised my face upward again.  I wasn’t surprised at all when I saw a vulture circling right above me against the blue sky, burst out laughing, waved to him and came inside.  What a glorious day this is!

This entry was posted on Monday, March 8th, 2010 at 12:13 pm and is filed under Meditations. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.