For the last couple of days I have been listening.  Now most days I listen to many things, but this listening is different.  I felt a jolt a couple of nights ago of something shifting somewhere, and since I can’t tell you where or who shifted it seems rather silly to discuss.  However, I have been dreaming since the same dream over and over since then, so I decided to process it a bit here.  

As I sat at my computer and prepared to sign off for the night I felt off balance, a bit disoriented, and as if a puzzle piece slipped into place somewhere.  It wasn’t as if a huge earthquake decimated a city or all the financial markets suddenly crashed at that moment, but more a feeling that something was set into motion somewhere.  I felt all my hair stand up the way I do when there is something not in our usual realm of five senses going on, and that feeling has never been a false alarm in my almost fifty years of life.   It only lasted a few minutes, but since then I have felt as if something is rolling like a snowball down a hill and have dreamed the same dream over and over each night.  As I think about it now my hair is standing up again, and not only do I need to get a good night’s sleep, but perhaps if I process it a bit I can finally sleep and put the experience behind me.

As I drift off to sleep I hear voices in the background, and although I can’t hear what they are saying I realize they are men’s voices.  I can catch snippets of phrases, but not enough to understand the whole conversation, so I am confused and strain to hear more clearly.  I am in semi-darkness, but I’m not sure if I am in a darkened room or just not completely present, so I try to let my eyes adjust so I can see who is speaking.  One or two voices sound a bit familiar, but I can’t quite place who they are, and the whole atmosphere is one of serious hushed planning.

I try to move closer to get a better vantage point, but since the only lighting is a desk lamp off in a corner the men’s faces are mostly silhouette and shadow.  The whole room reminds me of a Twilight Zone episode where you only see mouths talking and can’t see the rest of the person’s face, so I start to dismiss this as my psyche trying to process some unknown issue from daily life and relax.  Then I realize my hair is still on end,  and the feeling that something here is important and nothing to do with my psyche becomes overwhelming.

As I have repeatedly during the last two nights I start to circle the room from my vantage point behind the men, and I catch phrases such as, “this time get it right” ,  ”last chance to do this”, and “get this in motion now”.  They are leaned toward each other as if this is intense and very serious, and the whole atmosphere in the room is heavy and laced with fear and determination as if they are all focused on one urgent and essential task.  I really want to understand, so I lean even closer and hear, “can’t control nature, but we must control the rest of this”.  I feel those hairs stiffen even more and lean forward to peer into the group to see who they are and feel as if I fall foward. 

I end up falling into the middle of the group, and although they obviously don’t see a woman falling in their midst it seems a couple of them feel something and jump in their seats.  I hear two voices say with alarm, “What was that?  Did you see something?  What was that noise?” and then I am awake in bed.  This dream has gone on all night for two nights, and although writing it didn’t help me figure out what it is about, hopefully the energy will be released so I can sleep tonight.  I have meditated on it and only feel that it is important and outside myself so far, but only time will tell.

This entry was posted on Sunday, August 23rd, 2009 at 9:49 am and is filed under Dreams. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.